Parenthood as a Career
Filed under: Contentment in Motherhood, Parents/Leaders
Most of us spend a great many hours improving our job skills. We study the latest technology, management trends, or industry leaders. However, many of the same people who work hard to stay on top of their careers will complain that parenthood is unchallenging. Some parents who stay at home with their children all day fuss that their minds are turning to mush and some parents who are employed spend far less time focusing on making parenthood intellectually challenging than they do on their “paid” jobs. For too many, parenthood is just something we do after our real jobs end each day. Read more
Teaching Toddlers the Gospel of Jesus Christ
Filed under: Parents/Leaders, Scripture Stories, Teaching Children, Teaching Values, Uncategorized
Each week, I teach one to three year olds about God, Jesus, and the Bible in my Mormon nursery class. Every month,
we learn a Bible story, repeating it each Sunday for the entire month, and we also have a lesson on a basic principle of Christianity. Over the past year, I’ve learned a great deal about teaching religion to very young children.
It’s never too soon to start teaching our children. As a family, we can read the scriptures and make sure even our youngest children are in the room as we do. They are listening and will absorb whatever they are ready for. Read more
Teaching Your Child to Entertain Himself
Filed under: Entertaiment and Recreation, Motivating Children, Parents/Leaders, Teaching Children
I was watching various teenagers today as I drove around town doing errands and noticed none of them seemed to be comfortable with their own company. They talked on cell phones or were plugged into music as they waited for school busses or walked down the street. Merely walking and thinking seemed to be out of style. Read more
Teach Your Children the Bible This Summer
School may be out, but there is no reason for the learning to stop. While religious education might be against the law in public schools, at home this summer, you can teach your children to love the scriptures, and maybe sneak in a little academic learning at the same time. Read more
The New Mormon Nursery Manual
Mormons believe you’re never too young to learn, so classes for children begin at eighteen months. The nursery is for eighteen month olds to three year olds. In January, a child who will be four by the end of the year moves into the regular children’s program, known as Primary.
The nursery is not merely a babysitting service. It’s a real class, with a structured schedule and meaningful gospel learning opportunities. Previously, the nursery used the manual for the next class up, with suggestions for adapting it. This year, a new manual just for toddlers was introduced, which reinforces the educational and spiritual aspects of the nursery program.
The nursery is staffed with at least two adults, either a married couple or two adults of the same gender. Attendance is voluntary, but it is an important step to preparing children for the higher demands of the rest of the Primary program.
The new manual is called “Behold Your Little Ones.” The title is taken from a powerful story in the Book of Mormon, when Jesus Christ appeared to the Nephites after his death. Jesus asked the people to bring their children to him. When they were gathered, He stood in their midst and prayed. After the prayer, he gave each child an individual and personal blessing-a special personal prayer to God for the child.
22 And when he had done this he wept again;
23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones.
24 And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them. (3 Nephi 17)
The title reminds us of how special children are to the Savior and that miracles can occur through and to children. They are never too young to learn to love their Savior.
The manual contains thirty lessons, including lessons for Easter and Christmas. Each lesson is a complete resource. Spiral bound so it can be set on a table, each lesson includes songs, scriptures to be read directly from the scriptures themselves, scripture stories, repetition activities, and pictures. There are full-color pictures, as well as a simple line drawing to be used for coloring or other activities. The lessons also include optional activities leaders can choose from, such as activity verses, crafts, or games. The pictures are in the actual lesson, not a separate packet, making it easy to show them to the children and to keep track of them.
Along the margins are teaching tips to help leaders understand children or learn to improve their teaching skills. They also outline the church rules for teaching.
As an example, lesson two’s theme is “Heavenly Father Has a Plan for Me.” The lesson flows from the children’s song, “I Am a Child of God.” The points of the lesson are taught as children learn one or two lines of the song. Pictures of Jesus Christ and of families make the topic more understandable for small children, and restlessness is avoided, as the children are also learning to sing the song throughout the lesson. This lesson is an excellent way for music leaders to learn how to teach a child a song.
Because each lesson has a picture and craft idea, leaders are less tempted to use materials that aren’t produced by the church. Everything needed is right in the lesson, and teachers are instructed to supplement, if needed, with materials from other lesson manuals or church magazines.
Nurseries are counseled to include in their schedule:
Lesson
Free Play time with books, toys, and puzzles. Toys are to be out only during playtime.
A healthy snack.
Music lesson.
Transition activities to help children move from one activity to the next. This is the schedule I am using in my nursery:
Gathering activity-10 minutes. This is a craft based on the lesson or a few educational toys, just something to get them engaged while they’re arriving.
Lesson: 15 minutes
Snack: 15 minutes ( a nice break after all that structure.)
Music: 15 minutes
Free Play: 30 minutes. Toys are put into four or five stations, not all over the room. One station is rotated out each week, but books and toddler toys always stay. A teacher sits on a blanket reading to those who want to listen. Educational things are at another station, also with an adult. Remaining adults watch over the nursery. We usually have parents around to help with that.
Closing Activities: A review of songs and action rhymes from the lesson, and then coloring or crafts based on the lesson, games. I set out the flannel boards and maybe one other thing for children who don’t do crafts or coloring.
As you can see, the children are busy and learning the whole time. There is only a half hour of toys, and it’s a selected number of toys to avoid overstimulation.
The new manual makes it very easy to build everything but the free play around your lesson and to use only church produced materials. It’s an amazing work, and I hope the next round of manuals for older Primary children will follow the example of this one. It’s also designed to be used in the home, and is so simply written, a child could plan family home evening from the lessons. Take a look and see for yourself:
Mormon Marriage and Family Relations Course
Filed under: Parents/Leaders, Teaching Values
Mormons attend church three hours each week. After the basic service, they attend two other classes. In addition to the regular courses, there are optional courses offered periodically in wards (congregations) as needed. One is the Marriage and Family Relations Course.
While taught from a Mormon perspective, students do not have to be LDS. The course textbook is available free online, which also allows others to learn the material even if it’s not offered in their areas. For those who do wish to take the class, the course is free. You can contact your local congregation to find out if it’s being offered.
The course consists of sixteen lessons. The first eight are about strengthening marriage. This is important because parents who care about each other and have a strong, functional relationship are better able to meet the needs of their children. The remaining lessons are about parenting.
Parents are taught that children are a gift from God. He created them and they are his children, entrusted to our care. That makes parenting a sacred responsibility. Both parents are essential to a child’s well-being and each parent plays a specific role in the child’s life. Parents are taught what those roles are and are given advice on how to fulfill them.
They learn how to teach their children through example, living their own lives the way they want their children to live theirs. They also learn how to talk to their children about those things that are important, including religion.
The course includes guidelines on types of moral instruction parents should focus on and suggests ways to teach them, such as honesty, hard work, and moral purity. They also learn how to help children understand that choices have consequences and they don’t get to choose the consequences.
The course then introduces some specific Mormon programs that are done in the home by the family to strengthen the family and teach the children. These can be adapted to any faith: family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening.
Family home evening is a program that asks families to stay home on Monday evenings and spend time as a family with no outsiders. They have a family meeting, consisting of prayer, songs, a lesson on a principle the family wants to develop (nutrition, service, morality and other issues, both spiritual and practical), a treat and a fun activity. In today’s busy families, this is critical to making sure families develop a relationship with each other.
This course is designed to help parents set meaningful goals for their families, so their parenting and family life is conducted with an overall purpose and focus, rather than just getting through the busy days. Each choice made is one designed to further the well-being and love of the family, and to help children grow to adulthood successfully.
While some of the material is, of course, specific to the Mormon religion, most of it is also generally good advice, and can applied or adapted to almost any family’s values, if those values are conservative and high.
To read the course materials, visit Marriage and Family Relations Class.
Lead Me, Guide Me
There is a children’s song that has lines in the chorus:
“Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.” (I Am a Child of God)
Finding ways to lead and guide children is the goal of parents in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (known as the Mormons). When kids aren’t behaving in the way we’d like, sometimes we feel less like leading and guiding and more like pushing, pulling or forcing. But this is not the way shown to us by the Savior, Jesus Christ.
The example of the Savior was one of mentoring leadership, selfless service and gentle persuasion.
I read a great book recently called Nudge; a book that discusses choice. The book shows that people need to make choices, but also understands that they can be influenced and led in positive directions to choose good things. The authors understand human nature and know that people can be fallible.
“Drawing on some well-established findings in social science, we show that in many cases, individuals make pretty bad decisions – decisions they would not have made if they had paid full attention and possessed complete information, unlimited cognitive abilities, and complete self-control.” (Nudge, Thaler and Sunstein, Yale University Press, 2008)
In the book, they talk about how those in leadership positions can create an architecture of choice around those they lead. Their followers can be nudged in the right direction. As parents, we are “choice architects” for our children. We can lead, guide and nudge using these principles, which are consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ. He respected people’s ability to choose, but still said with confidence, “Follow me.” (Matthew 4:19)
Twelfth President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Spencer W. Kimball, described the leadership principles exemplified by the Savior:
“Fixed Principles:
Jesus knew who he was and why he was here on this planet. That meant he could lead from strength rather than from uncertainty or weakness. Jesus operated from a base of fixed principles or truths rather than making up the rules as he went along. Thus, his leadership style was not only correct, but also constant.Understanding Others
Jesus was a listening leader. Because he loved others with a perfect love, he listened without being condescending. A great leader listens not only to others, but also to his conscience and to the promptings of God.Selfless Leadership
The Savior’s leadership was selfless. He put himself and his own needs second and ministered to others beyond the call of duty, tirelessly, lovingly, effectively. So many of the problems in the world today spring from selfishness and self-centeredness in which too many make harsh demands of life and others in order to meet their demands.Jesus’ leadership emphasized the importance of being discerning with regard to others, without seeking to control them.
Responsibility
Jesus knew how to involve his disciples in the process of life. He gave them important and specific things to do for their development. Jesus trusts his followers enough to share his work with them so that they can grow. That is one of the greatest lessons of his leadership.Accountability
Jesus knew how to involve his disciples in the process of life. He gave them important and specific things to do for their development. Jesus trusts his followers enough to share his work with them so that they can grow. That is one of the greatest lessons of his leadership.” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Jesus: The Perfect Leader,” Tambuli, Aug 1983, 7)
Jesus Christ is the leader we should follow as we work to lead our children back to our Father in Heaven. We can follow His great example of a willingness to serve (Matthew 20:28 and Matthew 23:11). We can know that we have a great stewardship to teach our children, but still be humble in our teaching. (Matthew 23:12)
Like the song says, we can lead, guide and walk beside our children as we show them by our example the way of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Building a Masterpiece
Our family is in the planning stages of building a home. Since we remodeled our current home a few years ago, we have half an idea of what to expect. We are sure it will be exciting, but equally overwhelming. Every day a contractor will come to the job with the tools needed to perform his work. With the right tool and the skill to use it, they can create something lasting and beautiful.
The actual building work is horribly messy and loud. We know that we’ll step through danger zones, climb over piles of material and walk through dust-covered rooms to see bits of progress here and there. The buzz of the saw or pounding of the hammer is usually constant. There will be mistakes that will have to be corrected, pulled out and re-built. Delays are inevitable and most projects wind up behind schedule and over budget. From a shell, the home slowly begins to take shape. If it is constructed with solid materials using the right tools and the right skills, the finished product can be a masterpiece.
Mothers and fathers are building masterpieces of their own. Every day they work together to help build the human family – to raise children into moral, hard-working, smart, talented and loving people.
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, (known as the Mormons), the Church leadership wrote a “Proclamation To the World” about the family to state the importance of this sacred responsibility:
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995)
Mom and Dad as builders each have jobs to do but may need different tools and different skills to build their part of the structure.
“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995)
So how do Mom and Dad get the right tools and the skill to use them?
I can’t speak for the fathers, but being a mother, I know that I am in great need of certain tools: I need the tool of teaching, listening, and evaluating progress. I need the tool of increased patience, and an understanding of what motivates a toddler or teenager. I need the ability to correct someone while ensuring they know they are loved. I need to know when to get involved and when to pull back. I need the tool of good example, because all eyes are watching (all the time). I need a selfless heart, ready to support and lift others. I know that I’ll need to use a different tool with a different child.
No matter what your background, every parent has gaps in their parenting abilities. There will always be a tool or skill I am missing and know I need, but don’t have. Whether we had great parenting mentoring or none at all, we are always learning new things as parents.
In my search, I’ve found that one of the best resources to gain the tools and skills for this construction project are the scriptures. In the words of apostle Henry B. Eyring,
“Often the answers will come as you study the scriptures. They contain accounts of what the Lord did in His mortal ministry and the guidance He has given His servants. They have doctrine in them which will apply in every time and every situation. Pondering the scriptures will lead you to ask the right questions in prayer. And just as surely as the heavens were opened to Joseph Smith after he pondered the scriptures in faith, God will answer your prayers and He will lead you by the hand.” (Henry B. Eyring, “Rise to Your Call,” Liahona, Nov 2002, 75–78)
Our learning as parents is line upon line, precept upon precept (Isaiah 28:10). We don’t learn it in a day, but over a long period of time and usually through hard experience!
Another way to add to our toolset is prayer. A mother I know was having trouble with her teenage son. She was out of ideas and didn’t know what else to do. She prayed about it and her answer was a complete surprise. She was counseled through prayer to be nice to his friends – to talk to them when they came over and feed them when her son was entertaining them at her house. She said it was something she would have never thought of, but tried it. Because she built the relationship with her son’s friends, she strengthen the relationship with her son. This simple piece of counsel solved her problem.
The construction of a human life is indeed messy, hard work. In this hard-hat area we call family life, we may need to re-frame something that we’ve built that is unstable. We will have to be careful where we step. It will take time to step back and see the frame slowly take shape. We will need to periodically check the blueprints and renderings to remind ourselves what the finished product should look like, and that it is worth the expense in time and sacrifice. Our Creator has given us the grand opportunity to help create and build this human life. We are starting with first-rate materials! He will surely support us in the worthy work of caring for His spirit children. In the end, our foundation can be strong and our tools and skills ready for the task at hand.With His help and endowed with this miraculous power, mothers and fathers will have helped to construct a living masterpiece.
Secrets of Content Mothers
I started working when I was 14 years old. Unlike any part or full time job I’ve ever had, motherhood is a completely unique occupation.
Most mothers know that their work is important. Of course it is. It is a basic belief of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (known as the Mormons) that mothering matters deeply.
“We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
So why is contentment in mothering such a rare commodity in today’s world? On a radio show, I hear a TV producer say that she would go completely crazy if she had to stay home full-time with her kids. Another friend’s husband jokes that his wife needs to get back to work after the birth of their second child to “do her part” to support the family. A neighbor says she looks forward to going back to work on Monday because the weekend with her young children is so exhausting. A friend repeats the oft-heard question, “But what about YOU?” implying that mothering isn’t personally rewarding. It’s true that the laundry pile and meal preparation can feel tedious. And some days I wonder if I’ve made a difference taking my son to cello or if my daughter really cares who makes her a sandwich. Finding a rare moment to myself usually involves locking the bathroom door (often to hear pounding on the other side). Yes, becoming a content mother can be a true struggle.
But I know mothers who are content. They do not live problem-free or perfect lives, but they are happy, satisfied and joyful. They take satisfaction and pride in their work. They are confident and at peace with their choices. I want to know their secrets because I want to love being a mother. I want to feel content and fulfilled while I’m living every busy minute of mothering. I have watched and tried to learn from the wise mothers around me. So far, I have uncovered four secrets that only content mothers seem to know:
Secret #1 – Content mothers know what they do
A CEO describing his job would say, “I run a corporation.” He would not sheepishly answer, “Well, I answered a lot of email today.” Content mothers know that they are co-partners that create, sustain and develop human life. There is magnificence, power and eternal glory in this statement. Our first mother, Eve, was hailed as the “mother of all living”. (Genesis 3:20)
Without mothers, creation of all living ceases. Our Creator gives us the privilege of creating the most renewable, the most vital, the most productive and the most regenerating resource on earth: human life. He graciously gives most of the human family this opportunity to share His creative power. He does not ask us to pass a test, earn more than 50K per year or have a Bachelor’s degree to be a mother. He gives this honor and gift freely, wanting most of His children to participate in the creative process. And because He gives it so freely, it seems common. We easily forget its miraculous significance.
Content mothers know that human hands can create art, buildings, and businesses, but mothers build a human life at its core. Both parents teach, but our Father in Heaven has designated mothers to be special teachers in the lives of their children.
“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
With unique nurturing abilities, a mother’s daily influence teaches a child to speak, read, eat, love, listen, share, work, and act with integrity. We teach respect of self, of others and of property. We teach basic beliefs about religion, ethics, self-perception, and how to find happiness.
Content mothers know that we can fix a broken bridge after an earthquake, re-start a failed business, or re-paint a work of art if it gets damaged. But once we build our human family, we cannot re-create it or recapture our time. Our early work is permanent and not easily repaired. We have created a living, vibrant being from the ground up and the impact of our work is multi-generational. Once our children are grown, what we have done during the teaching years is in their hearts and minds forever.
Content mothers believe the words of 9th LDS Church President, David O. McKay:
“The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.” (Family Home Evening Manual 1968–69, p. iii.)
When mothers really understand the significance and impact of what they do, they are quietly confident. They know that they are a moral leavening agent, lifting others around them. They are content because what they do matters immensely. Mothers have created the foundation for the human experience.
“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?” (Neal A. Maxwell, “The Women of God,” Ensign, May 1978, 10)
Secret #2 – Content mothers don’t compare
Content mothers know that comparing brings despair. Looking at the mother next door will always make us feel that our life is not exciting enough, or personally enriching enough or financially rewarding enough. We will never be “enough” when we compare.
Content mothers do not try to “outdo” other mothers. They know that comparisons are at the core of pride.
“Pride is essentially competitive in nature….Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another? (Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 4)
Content mothers feel the natural pull of comparisons, but consciously reject them. In daily life, they avoid the common mistake of using business standards to compare or measure their value. Jobs make measuring “results” easy. The business world values revenues achieved, products manufactured, efficiencies gained.
When mother come from the work environment into the home to raise children, it can be easy to try to compare mothering value to business values – they are measurements we already know. But business metrics cannot capture the value created by mothering. Mothering measures service rendered, love given, time spent, relationships forged. Content mothers know that results can take time to measure. Mothering has a here-and-now impact on the human family in breadth, depth and length while also extending to the eternities.
“After all, to do well those things which God ordained to be the common lot of all man-kind, is the truest greatness. To be a successful father or a successful mother is greater than to be a successful general or a successful statesman.” Success in an occupation—even a lofty one—is only temporary, President Smith concluded, whereas success as a parent is “universal and eternal greatness.” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939, p. 285.)
I once asked my sister how she measured her mothering success when she could not guarantee how her children would turn out. She answered simply, “I measure my success by how I am becoming more like the Savior, Jesus Christ every day.” My sister is a content mother who doesn’t compare.
Secret #3 – Content mothers know the basics
Content mothers know that fatigue and hunger make both kids and moms cry. They know that sleep, diet and exercise must be a priority to function (at all).
In their families’ schedule, they follow the advice of apostle Elder Dallin H. Oaks to prioritize and be wise in their scheduling choices.
“We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Good, Better, Best,” Liahona, Nov 2007, 104–8)
They know they cannot “run faster than they have strength.” (Mosiah 4:27)
Secret #4 – Content mothers know what brings happiness
Content mothers reject the loud and constant cry of the world that personal fulfillment comes through work or projects outside of the home. They know that there are enough circumstances (death or illness of a spouse, divorce, economic hardship, etc.) that will require outside work. Extra support from family members and God is required for these mothers who have an added burden. They know that outside care may be a necessity, but they do not fool themselves into thinking that outside caregivers can offer the same level of care, development and love that they can.
Content mothers continue to educate themselves. They learn a language, play an instrument, create a web site, write a book, get a degree, teach a class, volunteer, or do a hundred other things. They enjoy and use their talents and bless the lives of their children in the process, but they know when to pull back if their family needs them. They know life is not to be lived in one day.
Content mothers control their days. They know they can ignore the dishes for a week if they want. They can also teach a four-year-old the name of every bone in the body if they want. The knowledge of their autonomy has power, and content mothers know “If it is it be, it’s up to me.”
Content mothers know they need feedback, but they will not see a “mother of the month” plaque in the living room in July. There will not be a bonus in August or a raise in December. They will not ask their children for a performance review unless they want to hear, “Good job, Mom. We want more candy.” Content mothers ask spouses for support and encouragement, but create their own report cards to measure their progress. They use prayer to get feedback and direction from the only source that really matters, a loving Father in Heaven.
Most of all, content mothers follow the example of the Savior, Jesus Christ.
“Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)
Like Christ, they know that men and women of true personal greatness give unending service at great personal sacrifice.
These women are smart, savvy and wise. I look to their example and notice that when I bring children to the earth, I have created a legacy. By teaching them, I have learned true and correct principles. By treating them with an increase in love, I have become more Christlike. Through my service, I have begun to refine myself. As a content mother-in-training, I look to the words of 15th LDS Church President, Gordon B. Hinckley for inspiration:
“God bless you, mothers. When all the victories and defeats of men’s efforts are tallied, when the dust of life’s battles begins to settle, when all for which we labor so hard in this world of conquest fades before our eyes, you will be there, you must be there, as the strength for a new generation, the ever-improving onward movement of the race.” (One Bright Shining Hope. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2006 pg 18)
American Idols
The Fourth of July is one of our family’s favorite holidays. It includes a pancake breakfast in the mountains, a parade, a barbecue, homemade ice cream and a “Driveway of Fire” with the family. The celebration is inspiring and meaningful. It is spent with people we love. Across the country, it is what founding father John Adams expected it to be.
“It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.” (The Book of Abigail and John: Selected Letters of the Adams Family, 1762-1784, Harvard University Press, 1975, 142).
Our children love the parade. They love the ice cream and the fireworks. I am glad they love these things. But there is more to love. I want them to love the American heroes who showed true leadership through endurance and sacrifice. I want them to love the liberties of their country and understand how they are “…endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” (Declaration of Independence).
I want them to know that God and Country are inseparable and that their righteousness matters for the good of the United States of America. As John Adams pointed out:
“This pursuit of happiness of man, as well as his dignity consists in virtue.” (Thoughts on Government, John Adams)
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, (known as the Mormons) we believe that the founding of America was inspired and authored by God the Father through the work of these “wise men.” (D&C 101:77-80)
These men are heroes I want my kids to know and appreciate, not because of their great talents and skills (although they have many). I want my children to know their work because they all saw God’s hand in their work. They acknowledged that their “inalienable” rights came from Him. They knew that only a righteous, virtuous society could enjoy the blessings of liberty.
Forget the basketball players or pop stars. These are the real American Idols I want my children to know. They are described well in the inspiring words of America the Beautiful:
“Oh beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved, And mercy more than life!” (America the Beautiful, Katherine Bates, Samuel Ward)
If our children get to know these American heroes, they will be more likely to follow the counsel of Ezra Taft Benson, Secretary of Agriculture for President Eisenhower and 13th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He said:
“We must…inspire in the lives of our children a love for eternal principles and a desire to seek out honorable men – the best possible – to stand at the head of our political governments, local, state, and federal. Only in this way can we safeguard the liberties which have been vouchsafed to us as our inalienable rights. Unless we do so, we may very easily lose them because of our indifference, because of our failure to exercise our franchise, because we permit men who are unworthy to rise to positions of political power.” (God, Family, Country, Benson, Deseret Book, 1974)
This summer, I want my children to learn the stories of these wise, steadfast, and talented men and women – true American Idols. I want them to study the scriptures that refer to the founding of this great nation. As their knowledge grows, so will their love for country, their gratitude for their Creator, and their desire to preserve the freedom they enjoy.