Time Out
By virtue of being a mother, I am “on alert” all of the time. In this state of greater awareness, we mothers notice the smallest item on the floor as a potential choking hazard for baby. We keep track of where our children are playing. We are pretty good at the memory game (one shoe is in the basement and the match is under the trampoline). We know the dates for scout camp, the time of the piano lesson and whether our child ate a vegetable today. We are willing hands in the loving care of our children.
But being constantly on alert, concerned and aware can leave our nerves raw and frazzled. Mothers need to take time out. A time out for mothers means three things to me: Time to be holy, time to rest, and time to grow.
Time to Be Holy
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (known as the Mormons), time spent focusing on the things of God is one of the most important ways to take time out; to rejuvenate, prioritize, ponder, and become happier.
Prayer is a source of power; the ability to communicate with a loving Father in Heaven who has our best interests in mind. He knows our struggles, talents, and weaknesses. He knows what we are trying to do for our family to support them and love them.
Prayer is the way I share my victories, ideas and inadequacies. My days are better when I begin them with prayer. Prayer sustains me and help me focus on having a productive and purposeful day. My days are best when ended with prayer. I can return and report about what I experienced. I love the description of prayer in the Bible Dictionary:
“As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are his children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7: 7-11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.” (Bible Dictionary: Prayer)
If prayer is said to be our way to share our thoughts with God, the word of God (the scriptures) are said to be the way He speaks back to us. They give direction and guidance:
“Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.” (2 Nephi 32:3)
Reading the words of God every day is centering and calming. It reminds us of the truly important things on this earth. The scriptures put prestige, wealth, fame and power into their proper perspective – unimportant and fleeting. They put righteousness, charity, obedience and character in their proper perspective – essential and eternal. (2 Nephi 9:51)
The Sabbath day is another way to take time to be holy. I can’t do without the Sabbath day. When our Creator made the earth, He too rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:3)
What a perfect time to stop the busy-ness of everyday life to worship our Father in Heaven, re-commit to keep the commandments and remember the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We can worship, rest, spend time with family, recharge and renew for the coming week. Our family chooses not to shop, recreate or pursue entertainment on Sundays. Because of this, we spend the day at home and are able to take time to be still. What a great blessing to be still one day a week in this whirlwind of a world.
Time for Rest
Sleep is a rare commodity in today’s world. Why did we forego this vital element to get ahead and compete in this 24-hour-a-day world? When I stay up too late to get things done in a quiet house, I pay for it the next day with cloudy thinking and low energy. We are counseled to:
“..retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary: arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.” (D&C 88:124)
There is a good reason for this advice. Our Father in Heaven knows that mothers need time for sleep.
Time to Grow
With days full of service, mothers have to carve out time to become a better person. We want to and need to develop our talents, interests, and our personal relationships. It seems impossible to make the time to do this, but it is needful.
The apostle Russell Ballard gives us counsel:
“…find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children.” (M. Russell Ballard, “Daughters of God,” Ensign, May 2008, 108–10)
I hope our time outs can be planned, worthwhile and renewing. Mothers need the spiritual strength, the sleep and the personal enjoyment to do all we are meant to do and all that we are so good at doing for our children.
The Growing Season
It’s the growing season and I’ve just planted my seeds in our garden. What a thrill to watch something so small grow into something so miraculous and productive.
It’s also a week before my kids are out of school for the summer. I take a deep breath and feel a pang of anxiety, wondering if I am ready for them to be home all day long. But I know that we will quickly settle into a summer routine and all will be well.
More than that, I know that summer is the perfect growing season for my children. It is a season of long stretches of unscheduled time. There are fewer deadlines and more rest. There are no organized sports or homework. It is not a time to listen to complaints of boredom (although I am sure I will hear that, too). Instead, it is the perfect time to plant a seed of potential and watch it grow for the next three months.
In a church talk on Sunday, the speaker discussed a belief of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (known as the Mormons). He noted that there are three things that we can take with us after this life is over: our learning and experience, church ordinances and our family relationships.
Learning lasts. In a book of scripture called the Doctrine and Covenants, it states:
Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. (D&C 130:18)
Learning becomes knowledge. Knowledge authors skill. Skill develops potential. Our children have untapped potential which is both earthly and divine. They can become anything and can do anything.
So how do we help our kids dig up that potential and get it to grow? One experience taught me what grows potential and what kills it.
One summer, I decided to follow a recommendation by a child development researcher who said that kids should become a neighborhood or family “expert” on something. This helps to develop skill and increase confidence.
I decided that it would be our summer project. I asked my children what they wanted to become an “expert” on, and my fourth grader chose computer animation.
Like a gardener who gives a plant basic elements to grow, I stood back and watched in amazement as he downloaded a free 30-day trial for the software, then bought the product with his own money, spent hours on online tutorials and mastered the Macromedia Flash product over the summer. His learning and endurance was shocking to my husband and me. He was willing to sacrifice everything he had to offer to learn this new skill.
The next summer, I asked the kids the same question. This time, I suggested that my son continue his Flash skill and learn to build web sites. I bought an online class for him and offered to hire a tutor. I asked him to build me a web site. He said he would, then sat down and played computer games for the next two weeks. Clearly, I had done something to kill the seed of potential.
Like the 5 elements for a plant: dirt, sun, air, water, and time, I learned that there are also 5 elements for the growth of potential.
A Supportive Environment (Dirt)
A supportive home environment is like dirt for potential. Parents don’t create the seed of passion-driven potential, but we can help it grow. Instead of ignoring or putting off the dreams, we can say “yes.” Asking questions and listening seems to be the right approach to get the seed planted at the right depth. Questions like “Tell me about your interest.” “How do you want to go about learning that?” “What can you do to help us fit that in to our schedule” and “How can we help?” works well.
Ownership (Sun)
Ownership is like the sun. Our Father in Heaven knows our need to make choices. Our earthly existence is based on this principle of agency. It is through these choices that we progress. We must remember that our children are doing the learning, not us. When we ask “Don’t you really want to learn about…?” or say “That looks cool. Can I learn it at the same time?” or “Tell me all about it. I want to hear every detail.” We are standing over them, blocking their light or are asking them to move over because we want to grow. When we encourage them to take ownership, they are in full sun.
Sacrifice (Air)
Reaching for their goal by sacrifice is the air they need to grow. When we want it so badly for them that we reach for them or over-help because we don’t want them to fail, we take away their air and smother them. We can give choices and allow them to define their own purpose. Because they have purpose, they will willingly sacrifice time, energy and money to develop their potential. Surprisingly, when they have purpose, it doesn’t seem like sacrifice or work to them.
Recognize Their Progress (Water)
When we recognize their progress, it is like pouring water on the seed. It encourages and fosters growth. If we show no interest or say nothing, we are drying them out. When we over-praise and say “That is the most incredible thing in the world I have ever seen. You are an amazing genius,” we are over-watering and flooding them out, weakening their root structure. When we say, “Wow. Smart thinking. Your initiative is impressive. I am interested in what you are learning. Tell me about it,” we are watering at the right amount.
Time
Just like a plant, potential needs time to grow. They need uninterrupted time to dig deeply into their subject. Summer is ideal. When we are rushed or overscheduled, they have no time to discover their passion. Likewise, if we offer non-stop entertainment, they will always be distracted. Without time to think, they can never consider or discover their potential. And when we watch over them constantly, it’s like pulling up the plant to see if the roots are growing.
With these 5 elements, our children can grow the seeds of potential. They can grow and learn. Their new skill prepares them for service – they have something they can contribute.
Their new knowledge and skills can be combined with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to help them achieve both their earthly and divine potential. They can use their skills and knowledge to serve God and their fellow man.
Sheri Dew, former counselor in the Mormon women’s organization, tells us the importance of understanding our potential. We all have a divine mission and purpose, and no one can take our place.
“The Lord knows who we are, where we are, what our mission is, and what we need in order to accomplish that mission. Not only has He known us for a long, long time, He has loved us for a long, long time. We are here now because we are supposed to be here now. No one else can have the influence or do the good that we were prepared and foreordained to have and do. No one else can fulfill our individual missions.” (No One Can Take Your Place, Dew, 207)
This summer, I look forward to seeing something small grow into something miraculous. In my garden and at home, I am looking forward to this year’s growing season.
Decisions, Decisions
When I was a girl, we had Cheerio’s, eggs or oatmeal for breakfast. That was about it. When we got tired of hard-boiled eggs, we’d try scrambled or fried. Pancakes with bacon were a special treat and were reserved for the weekend when we had more time. Boy, times have changed.
For breakfast, my kids can have over 250 brands of boxed cereals. I can choose from bagged or boxed brands, organic brands, oat, wheat, spelt, barley or corn-based brands. My milk can be soy milk, rice milk, skim, 1%, 2%, or whole. It can be regular milk, “hormone-free” milk or organic milk. I can have regular eggs, egg whites, eggs from hormone-free farms, or eggs from free-range chickens. I can make waffles from scratch, choose from over 10 brands of pre-prepared mix, or from umpteen brands of frozen waffles. I can serve turkey bacon, low-fat bacon, pork bacon, “hormone-free” bacon or beef bacon. I can serve orange juice that is pulp-free, with regular pulp, with extra pulp added, or calcium enriched. I can choose from over 35 types of fruit smoothie or if I’m traveling, drive through a fast-food place for a breakfast bagel, burrito, or muffin sandwich with another 50+ choices.
And that’s just breakfast.
Our world of prosperity has given us an explosion of choices for us and our children. Just think about the increase in choice in these areas of their lives:
Credit: A generation ago, access to credit used to be tight, which made living within your means easier to do. Our children will have access to credit and can charge many purchases freely.
Dining/Food: Dining choices were limited and most people were at home during the dinner hour. Now, we can make a meal at home, pick up a pre-packed dinner at a big box store, drive-through dinner at a fast-food place or eat out (all on our way to take our 5-year-old to soccer practice.)
Activities: Organized recreation for small kids was rare. Now, we can choose between karate, baseball, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music lessons, Mommy and Me classes, science camps, girl scouts, boy scouts, or church activities. The list is endless.
Work: It was pretty common for our parents to work in the same jobs or careers for 20+ years. Any career is open to our children. They live in an opportunistic work environment where changing jobs or careers frequently is the norm.
Are our children ready? I don’t think I am ready! In fact, I’m exhausted just thinking about breakfast.
Our kids have a great challenge ahead of them. They need to be able to make decisions that our parents never had to. They need to be more wise and discerning than past generations. At a minimum, they need to maintain their sanity. At a maximum, they can achieve true peace and joy.
What can help?
First, we can know that choice is good, but that more choice doesn’t necessarily make us happier. In a favorite book of mine, The Paradox of Choice, author Barry Schwartz describes the decline of happiness in America:
“The American ‘happiness quotient’ has been going gently but consistently downhill for more than a generation. While the American gross domestic product, a primary measure of prosperity, more than doubled in the last thirty years, the proportion of the population describing itself as ‘very happy’ declined. The decline is about 5 percent. This might not seem like much, but 5 percent translates into about 14 million people – people who would have said in the seventies that they were very happy would not say so today. It seems that as American society grows wealthier and Americans become freer to pursue and do whatever they want, Americans get less and less happy.” (The Paradox of Choice, Schwartz, Harper Perennial, 201)
Our generation of parents prides itself in developing thinking, reasoning children. Most of my friends and I encourage greater choice than past generations of parents ever did. “Do you want to wear the red shirt or green?” “Would you like to play baseball or soccer?” “Would you like to go to the beach or go on a hike?” Although our children need to learn to be good decision-makers, it sometimes has a paralyzing effect. In the words of one mother describing her five-year-old:
“I have noticed that my son sometimes has difficulty making the sorts of choices that exclude one thing or another. I have the sense that it has to do with a sense of loss. That choosing one thing over another will mean that one thing is lost. Finally making the choice somehow minimizes the pleasure in the thing that is gained, though there also seems to be an accompanying relief in finally making the choice. I have noticed him deliberating, as if he is frozen with indecision. He literally cannot make the decision unless he is gently prodded. Most recently I noticed him doing this when given a choice between different colored popsicles.” (The Paradox of Choice, Schwartz, 143)
The author’s research shows that we spend more time and attention gathering information and making the choice than we used to. (Do I buy this white blouse or do I try 3 stores because there may be one I like better – and one on sale!) We have a limited quantity of time, so this is time not spent on talent development, relationship-building, service or other things that bring greater peace and joy.
I cannot help but notice that the author’s advice on maximizing joy and keeping choice manageable is the same advice I find in the gospel of Jesus Christ:
#1 Prioritize
The color of our children’s popsicle won’t matter much in 10 years, but who they marry will. There are some decisions that are trivial and some that are critical. Having priorities is essential and having spiritual grounding helps find those priorities.
“Choose you this day whom ye will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)
If we (parent and child) seek to do the will of our Father in Heaven, our priorities will be grounded in love, service and “in doing good to all men.” If we follow counsel of the scriptures, we will spend our energy seeking for the things that matter the most.
“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:” (Matthew 6:20)
Once priorities are known, the decisions that really matter become clear. The kind of birthday party they have, the car they drive or brand of shoes they wear is trivial. Decisions made in this category can be made quickly and can be considered “good enough.”
How they spend their time, who they date, the language they use, or the moral standard they choose are the weightier matters that deserve more consideration.
#2 Embrace Constraints
It sounds paradoxical, but following a set of rules is liberating. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, known as the Mormon church, it is not uncommon to hear about a great love for the commandments of God. I personally see them as a blessing, not a restraint. If we decide once to follow a commandment or rule always, the finality of that decision frees up thinking for other complex choices and gives peace of mind.
Will our children decide they will not smoke each time they are offered a cigarette? Will they decide to drink before the party, once at the party, or decide not even to attend drinking parties? Will our girls decide to dress modestly once, or every time they go shopping?
If they decide only once, they can avoid the gut-wrenching or hasty decisions that come in the pressure of the moment. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the words of living prophets help to guide our children on the decisions that really matter. Here are a few examples of modern-day counsel from church leaders:
- Stay away from pornography
- Obey the Word of Wisdom
- Stay morally clean before marriage
- Dress modestly
- Marry in the temple to create a forever family
#3 Seek Wise Counsel
There are those who are qualified to help our children with their decisions. Parents, church leaders, modern prophets and scripture can all give solid counsel to children looking for direction. Of course, one of the best sources of counsel is the Lord through prayer. With His help, they cannot go wrong.
But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; (D&C 9:8-9)
#4 Eliminate comparisons
Much sadness and depression in decisions comes from pride. Was our decision better-than or worse-than our neighbor’s? A friend of mine says, “Compare and despair.” We usually compare our worst trait with someone else’s best. C.S. Lewis’ comment on pride is even more relevant today, where there are constant social comparisons:
“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)
#5 Model Discernment
Boy, I have a tough time with this one. While I know my overall priorities, I feel like the boy choosing a popsicle when it comes to my children’s after-school activities. “It’s all good,” I hear myself say. But being constantly overwhelmed by the ALL, is not good. Our children are likely to follow our lead when it comes to decision-making. The suggestions above are probably more important for me than my children, because they are watching what I do every day.
#6 Be Grateful
Finally, gratitude looks for the positive side of the decisions we’ve made. Gratitude takes our focus away from regret. Gratitude helps to focus on what we have, not what others have. And gratitude can give us a mental break from all of the decision-making we have yet to do.
I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. In this competitive, fast-paced world of expanded choice, I know that I can be confident in my decisions. The gospel helps me place my priorities in the proper order. It directs me to seek the Lord’s will first and follow the commandments. After that, I use my best (and practicing) judgment to make the best decisions I can, and teach my children to do the same. With the words of the Savior, I am ready for the decisions this life has to offer. I may even be ready for breakfast.
Solving the Parenting Puzzle of Balance with Knowledge
This blog is the second in a series of four. In the last blog, I suggested that finding a balance between too strict or too lenient parenting can be found in the words and examples of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Finding the balance is not only important for the development of our children, it’s pretty important for the mental health of us parents. We can watch what He does and then try (and try again) to use it with our own children.
The first piece of this parenting puzzle is knowledge. There are two basic things our Father in Heaven wants us to know before He gives us the next puzzle pieces of choice and responsibility. They are:
1. The Target – Where We are Going
2. The Rules of the Game – How to Get There
1. The Target
Our Father in Heaven helps us “begin with the end in mind” as Steven Covey says. He gives us a vision of our end-state of life and tells us what the point of life is to be.
For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. )Moses 1:39)
He wants us back with Him. He wants to share all that He has with His children. He then tells us who we are, so we aren’t completely overwhelmed and unbelieving that this is possible.
For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man’s device. (Acts 17:28-29)
Jesus Christ then gives us a challenge – to strive for perfection.
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)
It seems impossible! But Christ’s challenge keeps our sites on a target that is unchanging. He knows that we will not achieve the goal of perfection in this life, but we can work toward it every day.
This knowledge gives us confidence and direction. With the end in site, the standard high, and knowledge of our divine heritage, we can move forward, knowing that we can do hard things and that the reward is fantastic.
The same principles can be used with our children. We can help them visualize the end-state, whether we are talking about eternal or earthly things. When my son was eight, he went for about a two-month spell where he wouldn’t get out of the car at his violin lesson. Frustrated, I asked his wonderful violin teacher what she would do in my shoes. Should I physically drag him inside? Should I go home? Should I give him a punishment or bribe him? This mother of seven talented children told me, “Tell him that he can become a wonderful, gifted musician and this is what it takes to get there.” I tried it. I can’t say that he immediately bounded out of the car with a smile on his face, but he started coming back into the lesson and is still taking the violin years later. Because he stuck with it, he can now see that he IS a talented and gifted musician. This knowledge now feeds his interest. Visualizing the end-state is powerful and motivating. It keeps the standard high and the target in sight.
As a simple example, it can work with vegetable eating. Instead of pleading, bribing or punishing, we can help our children see the end goal. “When you grow up you are going to be a big vegetable eater. Your body needs the vitamins and you will find some that you love as an adult. At dinner, our family takes one bite of everything, even if you’ve had it before and even if you don’t like it. We need to see if those vegetable taste buds have kicked in yet – you never know when they will.”
We can also help our children to know who they are – that they are children of God and should act accordingly:
“You are a child of God and your body is a miracle gift. Smoking and drugs destroys that amazing body.”
“You are so intelligent. I know you can think of better words to use.”
“You can be kind, even when he teases you. Heavenly Father knows you have the power to choose how you respond.”
We can use this same principle in our own families. We tell our children they are the “Honest Ahlstroms” and that integrity is a family heritage. We share stories of grandparents and other relatives who have shown honesty during hard times. If they lie, we are firm but positive. “You are an honest Ahlstrom. We expect more.” Their potential is greater than they have shown and the standard is still high.
2. Rules of the Game
Once we know where we are going, we really need help in knowing how to get there.
We have more pieces of knowledge so we know what to do:
1. Commandments and direction
2. A mentor
3. A personal guide
Commandments and Direction
First, He gives us commandments and direction. The children of Israel had the 10 Commandments and the Law of Moses. With Christ’s coming, we have a fulfillment of the law and a higher expectation. After Christ gives the Sermon on the Mount where He outlines a new gospel, He tells us how to achieve the end-state.
20 Therefore come unto me and be ye saved; for verily I say unto you, that except ye shall keep my commandments, which I have commanded you at this time, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. (3 Nephi 12:20)
The scriptures contain a complete outline of the law with blessings and punishments that come with keeping or breaking the law. Prophets and apostles give more information about the law and warnings when the people start breaking the laws. If we had no law, then any behavior would be acceptable – there would be no right or wrong. He knows that any behavior will not get us to our end goal. The commandments are a generous plan that gives us guardrails for life. They are the most efficient way back to the target.
There is no question that we need family law. Bedtimes, manners, chores, and other rules keep order and progression in place. We tell our children to stay out of the street to keep them safe. We feed them nutritious food to keep them healthy. We have them brush their teeth to avoid pain and decay.
But at the same time, we don’t need to come up with a rule and corresponding blessing or punishment for every behavior – we can point our children in so many instances to the perfect law of Jesus Christ.
Swearing? Matthew 5:34-37
Morality? Matthew 5:27-28
Treatment of bullies? Matthew 5:44-45
Tattling? Matthew 7:3-5
Choosing friends wisely? Matthew 7:16-20
Sibling rivalry? Matthew 5:22-25
Thankfully, He has given us the basic laws and then lets us practice law-giving in our own families.
A Mentor
In God’s wisdom, He knew that we would need an example to follow. We have a mentor in Jesus Christ. The only perfect individual to walk the earth, He shows us the way.
32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. (Moroni 10:32)
Just as Christ is a mentor for us and for our children, our Creator also places us in families. You are your child’s mentor, no matter how intimidating that responsibility may be.
A Personal Guide
We may call it our conscience, intuition, our “gut feeling”, the light of Christ, or the gift of the Holy Ghost. All of humanity is given the gift to known good from evil. (2 Nephi 2:5)
With this innate knowledge of right and wrong, there can be no plausible deniability that we did wrong because we didn’t know better. Kids seem to have an uncanny sense of right and wrong. They are the first to call out unfair treatment.
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, known as the Mormons, we believe that the Holy Ghost can speak to all of humanity. We also believe that in order to receive the opportunity for constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, we must be baptized and confirmed, Then we must stay obedient and worthy to keep this magnificent gift.
38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. (Acts 2:38)
- and –
32 And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him. (Acts 5:32)
Whew. When our Father in Heaven gave us the ability to choose, He first prepared us well. This is a stunning amount of knowledge –
- We are headed back to live eternally with God
- We are His children
- We have commandments to help us return
- We have a mentor in the Savior
- We can have a personal guide in the Holy Ghost
Talk about an amazing support system. Any other thoughts? I am sure that you have many more ideas and examples of knowledge given and used in your own families. We would all love to hear about your experiences with knowledge, so please comment if you would like.
Before we move to the next piece of the puzzle – choice, we need to first see that it is not given in a vacuum. Knowledge is first given to help the choices go well.
Recipe: Playing with Peanut Butter
During the month of November the world celebrates their love of Peanut Butter. I know. Sounds weird, but these days there’s a day to celebrate just about anything. For any mother or father out there who fights the daily battle of finding things to feed even the pickiest of children (I dedicate this to my mother, who had to feed me), peanut butter is a must.
Some of my favorite childhood treats involve peanut butter. Remember ‘Ants on a Log’? Take a piece of celery and slather some peanut butter inside. Top it off with two or three raisins, or (if you don’t like raisins) chocolate chips.
Not a big fan of celery? Try an apple instead. Don’t cut it – just dig out the core until you have a tunnel in the middle. Then fill it up with peanut butter. Sure it’s a bit messy, but the best foods always are.
Today, November 3rd, also happens to be National Sandwich Day. If ever two foods were meant to be together, it was peanut butter and bread. Peanut butter sandwiches are a main staple in my family, and have been since I was a child. The great thing is you can add some delicious things to keep it feeling fresh day after day.
Try lots of different fruits. Peanut butter and bananas are a big favorite at my house. Just cut up a few slices and place them on top of the peanut butter half before topping with the other slice of bread. Don’t stop at bananas. Peel and slice an apple, and top those over your peanut butter. It lends a crispy crunch to your sandwich. One of my boys asked to have strawberry slices on his peanut butter sandwich, and it’s become one of his favorites ever since.
This next idea goes against everything I stand for. It’s not exactly healthy, and to me it sounds beyond gross, but I feel like it should be included for those who are not as picky an eater as I have always been (to my mother’s lament). When my husband was in grade school he had a teacher who told him about her favorite sandwich in the world: peanut butter and Miracle Whip. It has to be Miracle Whip. Mayonnaise simply doesn’t taste the same. I have not tested this one out myself, and probably never will, but all of my children who have had a ‘taste’ of Daddy’s sandwich all seem to love it.
To get the flavor of that last idea out of my head, I’ll leave you with one more. Think of this as a new twist on an old idea. This one also came from my husband, and I know every time we eat this for dinner (we do breakfast for dinner a lot at my house) I had better get out the peanut butter.
Take two pancakes or waffles. On the bottom half spread a good helping of peanut butter. Put the other pancake/waffle back on and top with your favorite syrup or jam.
So join me in celebrating Peanut Butter and Sandwiches.